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Licença Creative Commons
A obra Vagabond of the Western World de Luciana Alves Bonfim foi licenciada com uma Licença Creative Commons - Atribuição - Uso Não-Comercial - Obras Derivadas Proibidas 3.0 Não Adaptada.
Com base na obra disponível em dontfearthereaper1981.blogspot.com.

Desejados!!!

sexta-feira, 18 de fevereiro de 2011

"Mas só chove, chove..."

Tá um sol de rachar lá fora, mas aqui dentro "chove, chove... chove, chove, oh..."

This week was a tough one at college. I must confess I was really anxious to come back and get to know our freshmen. First day we found out that the so expected "trote" was forbidden, although we could see freshmen from many courses being taken out of the university for that purpose. We tried to convince our Course Coordinator that we were up to something good for the freshmen, but were treated like children. She didn´t permit us to even enter the classroom for a party invitation.

Of course we´ve decided to do it anyway, and thank Merlin we could count on some nice freshmen to give their classmates our message. Then, on Wednesday, we finally got our "trote" with them. It was a nice one. I, for myself, had a lof of fun. Probably more fun than everybody, once I was one of the responsibles to organize it. After some paint on the face, self-introductions and rules, the freshmen could have some drinks with us. And I got wrecked, of course. But that´s ok, it´s not that I do it every week.

Along this week, I could realize some very important and sad things that are happening to me. Oh man, these freshmen were so young! I'd promissed myself I wouldn´t freak out when age came to me, but no matter how hard I try not to think about it, this issue pops in my mind every time and it keeps shouting in my ears that the time has passed and I´m stuck to something that, in some way, still doesn´t make me happy.

People think about the future, they envision themselves with partners in the long run. It's funny, but I don´t envision mine. Actually, I can´t think about my future more than some months ahead. Sad, ain´t it?

Another thing is... I was not made for leadership, for Merlin's sake! I thought I was gonna have a heart attack before the "trote" me and some friends were organizing. It's such a pressure having people looking at you and waiting for a decision. The decision itself is not a problem. The problema is to deal with those who never agree with anything, though they don´t stand up to lead the pace. And then, people come to me to talk about the Academic's Center... so many decisions... sometimes I think I´ll never make it. And then again, deep inside, I know I was not made for waiting for other people to lead. And I hate myself for plunging headlong in these fully troubled endeavours (don´t even know if this expression exists).

And there is something in the air that I can´t explain. A feeling that something is gonna break and no "Reparo" charm will fix it. It seems I´m gonna lose something I cherish and will no longer be able to get it back.

Sometimes we get to know things that make us feel so sad and disappointed. Things you´ve never imagined... You try not to let the anger escape, you try to understand people's reasons, but honestly... I´m tired of trying to understand people. I´m tired of having some of my bad characteristics pointed out and I`m tired of listening and not giving a proper and moody answer. I´m tired of trying to be strong, this is it. And here, the tone is not angry or furious, but just sad. This is the worst: being sad, and not angry, about it.

I´m not the only person in the world who feels this way, I know. But writing makes it easier for me.

6 comentários:

Camila Monteiro disse...

Lu, vc mandou eu me jogar entao vamo lá!!!
Tenho duas criticas para te fazer... vc sabe que amo de paixao teus texto, mas porque vc escreveu em inglês dessa vez? O que vc quis com isso? Olha, entendo inglês mas me parece que vc ta querendo que ninguem te leia.
Achei interessante o que escreveu, mas sinceramente DUVIDOOOOO que vc nao tenha no sangue a liderança, te sinto tão guerreira aki lendo tuas criticas e como já disseram ao nosso querido PETER PARKER (SPIDER MAN) " um grande dom tras uma grande responsabilidade - Lu as pessoas precisam de liderança e que seja entao alguém como vc, que tenha opiniões sensatas sobre as coisas...

a outra critica é: TIRA ESSE FUNDO DE BOLINHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Fico quase vesga quando leio muito tempo teu blog e quando eu entro aki, literalmente MIJOGOOO nos teus textos.
Hahahahahahaha Acho lindo, mas embaralha tudo as vistas...(eu sei sou fresca)

Beijos viu, de coraçao, espero que nao desista da raça humana ainda!!!

Passa la no blog, ta rolando uma enquete!!!!

ok agora pode ir la me xingar!!!! uhauauahauha

Camila Monteiro disse...
Este comentário foi removido pelo autor.
amanda. disse...

i'm gonna try to play the same game and comment in english... mine isn't so good as yours, but i'll try ;)

first of all, I LOVE THE TROTE! it was fun, was easy, was pleasant... i must confess i was afraid, but you guys made us very comfortable and i believe everyone had fun.

second, i just wanna say a quote i think it fits with EVERYBODY: "the most interesting people i know, just have no ideia what to do in their lives".
;)

at last, but not at least, i feel the same way about leadership. that's the reason i never try to leader something. it isn't on my personality, i'm just not that way. although i hate to follow orders...
and this is a topic we should discuss 'tete a tete' 'cause there's so many things to say and i can't keep doing it in your comment box.

BEIJO QUERIDÃN!
;*******

Bruna Belatriz Brasil disse...

Me senti forever alone por não entender :'(

Mas deve ser bom, você sempre escreve coisas sensatas e que marcam ;/ :D
Beijos

Mariana disse...

Nostalgia bateu lendo sobre o trote =/
Quanto à liderança, eu concordo com a moça ali de cima: "vc tem opiniões sensatas sobre as coisas". Do que adianta ter liderança como característica principal, como eu ^^ só que sempre querer que as coisas sejam e saiam do SEU jeito? Acho que por isso, quem acha aque não serve como líder seja o mais capaz. ;*

.:.A Luciana.:. disse...

Meninas! Li todos os comentários! Prometo escrever em inglês E português na próxima vez. Acho que eu estava meio mau humroada pra passar pro português... mals aê!

Fique imensamente feliz de ler seus comentários por aqui! =***